Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Almost Strangers - Surreal Short Story by Freek

 Almost Strangers 

A: I've had my shoulders lowered to make my tits look pert.
B: It hasn't worked, pass me the cheese.
A: I thought you were allergic to cheese?
B: Don't stop at that, just tell me about the time you met Harry Ramsden in Leeds.
A: For most of my life I have always put my alarm clock back 20 minutes.
B: Nothing seems possible until the crazy diaries are read in pig Latin.
A: Get me my horse, I need to start a plan.
B: Can I just say that you look wonderful in that dress made from fly strips.
A: The light has made my eyes water and now my hair has grown.

B: Looking is believing and staring is reality made good.
A: This is not what I had in mind.
B: You cannot use that kind of language in here.
A: I would prefer to sit with my legs uncrossed and slumped in a Chesterfield.
B: Can't stand the woman.
A: Lift up and let me see what's underneath.
B: Have you quite finished playing battleships with an empty tea pot?
A: Hold me close and I'll sing you a song.

B: Never mind the day is almost over.
A: You can no longer hear the screeching of the train.
B: Become more alert and step inside the case that I carry.
A: Little does she know I have no time for her.
B: I cut all of the strings off and she still plays the cello.
A: Bitch has arrived so seal the lips and not the hips.
A: Since when has the church bell played "Popeye the sailor man".
C: Since it was an ice cream van. Here's your 99.

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Author: Sam Freek