Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Almost Strangers - Surreal Short Story by Freek

 Almost Strangers 

A: I've had my shoulders lowered to make my tits look pert.
B: It hasn't worked, pass me the cheese.
A: I thought you were allergic to cheese?
B: Don't stop at that, just tell me about the time you met Harry Ramsden in Leeds.
A: For most of my life I have always put my alarm clock back 20 minutes.
B: Nothing seems possible until the crazy diaries are read in pig Latin.
A: Get me my horse, I need to start a plan.
B: Can I just say that you look wonderful in that dress made from fly strips.
A: The light has made my eyes water and now my hair has grown.

B: Looking is believing and staring is reality made good.
A: This is not what I had in mind.
B: You cannot use that kind of language in here.
A: I would prefer to sit with my legs uncrossed and slumped in a Chesterfield.
B: Can't stand the woman.
A: Lift up and let me see what's underneath.
B: Have you quite finished playing battleships with an empty tea pot?
A: Hold me close and I'll sing you a song.

B: Never mind the day is almost over.
A: You can no longer hear the screeching of the train.
B: Become more alert and step inside the case that I carry.
A: Little does she know I have no time for her.
B: I cut all of the strings off and she still plays the cello.
A: Bitch has arrived so seal the lips and not the hips.
A: Since when has the church bell played "Popeye the sailor man".
C: Since it was an ice cream van. Here's your 99.

 For surreal poetry rattle your way over here --------------------------- and click ------- surreal poetry


Author: Sam Freek

Friday, January 03, 2020

Tripped Into The 21st Century - Surreal Poetry by Sam Freek

 Tripped Into The 21st Century

Come on roll me over and spin the wheel
Destiny found you on the 14th floor next to the fire escape
Fine day for it shouted the prisoner from the cheese jail
The plant never stopped growing and neither did my left ear lobe
12 hundred million calories to burn off after eating the contents of 27 supermarkets
How many corner shops in Cleckhuddersfax?
Steamy windows in the side door from the overcooked potato that looked like Engelbert Humperdinck
You have seen all this a hundred times before in the nude

No I have not

He's behind you
This is not a Punch and Judy show for the masses
Wind your neck in before it gets trapped between the two buses on there way to Hebden Bridge
I grow the flakes of fortune in the steel blue bucket
If I can decide on a new birth year can it be 1962 please?
The cold weather brought smiles from a cat which liked to scratch itself on an inverted Venus flytrap
Did I trip into the 21st century or was I pushed?
This poem was brought to you in association with the mighty bang
Find me a full stop which will create some sparkle in and around the swamp of cells

I have seen the past from the outside looking in and it needs shaking up
Dragged the day along by half a mile
Phoned the blase blah man who wanders around a lake singing yippee I ay
Scream to a wobbling halt
Its tea time said Francis

 For more surreal poetry click away over here ---------------------------------- surreal poetry


Author: Sam Freek

Thursday, January 02, 2020

Icebergs and Turkey Necks - Surreal Poetry by Sam Freek

 Icebergs and Turkey Necks

You are under no obligation to read this
Please be aware that the tiny writing on the wall tapers at the end
Odd man out was the new film to watch with city dwellers
Dynamic skills saw rapid monetary growth
Each muscle twitched with excitement to the sound of pillow chatter
A mammoth revelation lay dormant until favour found the secret whistle

Tuesday night saw crispy duck and pancake playing hide and seek amongst the stars
The child with little worldly knowledge of how to keep up with tidy habits threw orange sticks
Move over, but little was done
Its all smoke and mirrors by the morning
Funny thing was....
What?
They were Gucci
But I am not from Italy
The air stewardess knew this and began having a tug of war with a fourteen foot long napkin

The shaving rash look caught on in the southern hemisphere
I read the Sunday papers backwards at 62 words per minute which could be a world record
The shag pile carpet moved along by 4 inch
I was vexed at the empty wall whilst hoping Martha could be seen with my x-ray specs on
Wandering around unassisted I soon became aware of my super powers

Murmurs filled the empty paper bag that arrived from Stone Chair
Not sure about this detox came into my head in a large speech bubble sprayed green
I felt the wobble from the side and became exposed


 For more surreal poetry click away over here ---------------------------------- surreal poetry

Author: Sam Freek